Schizocinema’s Best of 2017 Collection

Schizocinema’s Best of 2017 Collection

Happy New Year everyone!

The sucking chest wound that was 2017 has finally been laid to rest, which means Schizocinema is two years old!  And a month or two in change.  I’m terrible with anniversaries, just ask my wife of something-something years.  

Since a lot of people are doing top ten lists around this time, I thought I’d play along.  There are dozens of lists to choose from: Top Ten Best Movies of the Year, Top Ten Worst Movies, Top Ten Best Action Scenes, Top Ten Craziest Nicholas Cage Moments: MOM AND DAD Edition, but I thought I would bring you one guaranteed unique list: Top Ten Best 2017 Schizocinema Reviews!  Self-indulgent? Perhaps.  A stalling tactic because I am maniacally working on finishing a book and didn't have time to watch and review a movie this week?  Definitely.  

Like the best lists, this one is thoroughly subjective and not based on any form of data, such as page views, because that would just be embarrassing.  I have picked the ones I am the proudest of, or the ones I had the most fun writing.  Some are themed around current events, others are memorials, and some are just dumb movies that I love talking about.  If any of these are ones you may have missed, you are in luck (note: degree of luck not guaranteed).  If you have read them, just smile and nod, reflecting on the good times.

10.  EVERLY

One of my more overtly political pieces, blended with a heavy dose of thoroughly asskicking Salma Hayek.  

9.  DAY OF THE DEAD

My last respects to master filmmaker, George Romero.  More celebratory than sorrowful, I hope.  Unless I’m mistaken, my angle on the DAY OF THE DEAD’s social commentary is a new one.  If I am mistaken, don't tell me.

8.  THE THING

Not a memorial for John Carpenter, thankfully, but an adoring look at the greatest practical monster effects of all time.  The capsule is from the thing's perspective.

7.  HOWLING II

 

Revel in whiplash thematic lunacy, hairy werewolf orgies, and Jeb Brown grimaces in my ode to this splattery, nonsensical masterpiece.

6.  GREEN ROOM

Another heavily political piece, I channel my emotions about Charlottesville through the lens of this legitimately wonderful, brutal as hell siege movie.

5. IRONMASTER

I make the case that the villain of this obscure and completely ridiculous Umberto Lenzi caveman flick, the great George Eastman, is not only more charismatic than the bland hero, but he makes a better leader as well.

4.  ZOMBIE

My movie equivalent to comfort food for reasons that are unknown, even to me. Not even my favorite Lucio Fulci film, but I keep coming back to it.

3. EATEN ALIVE

Another devastating memorial. Tobe Hooper gives the world so much to love and write about with his fever dream follow up to TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE.

2. COLOSSAL

My kaiju sized love for Anne Hathaway comes bursting out all over this analysis of what jerks men can be. Timely?

1.  THE PIT

I could write a million words about this beautifully demented Monster/Killer Kid/Revenge/Haunted Doll(?) work of art straight from the ‘80s.  And Canada.

Well, there you have it folks, the best of 2017.  In my opinion.  That I can remember.  How does it match up to your top ten Schizocinema picks?  Do you have a top ten?  Top couple?  Let me know.  

And come back next week, when I will definitely, absolutely have a new movie review.  Promise.

C Chaka