Hold the Mystery - ABSURD

In the evolution of horror cinema, the American Slasher sprang from the roots of the Giallo. Directors like Bob Clark (BLACK CHRISTMAS) and Sean Cunningham (FRIDAY THE 13TH) took the hyper-violent Italian thriller, stripped down the plot, ditched the (sometimes) sophistication and wild colors, and moved the usual urban setting to a more isolated one. Initially, however, they kept the mystery, especially concerning the killer. Even though we know the identity of the killer from the very start of HALLOWEEN, Carpenter maintained a sense of mystery by keeping Michael Meyer’s true face, and motivations, hidden away.

It was only a matter of time before Italian cinema, masters of the knock-off, would bring things full circle. In 1981, renowned horror/porn/anything-he-could-get-his-hands-on director Joe D’Amato took a stab at making his own American Slasher. Upping the gore and completely ditching all hint of mystery, the result was, fittingly, ABSURD.

The Capsule:
On the night of the big football party—which is regular football and not soccer because this is clearly America—the residents of a small American (not Italian) town are shocked by the appearance of a disemboweled stranger (George Eastman) pursued by a foreign priest (Edmund Purdom). After making a miraculous recovery in the hospital, the stranger escapes, leaving a trail of bodies behind him. The priest confesses to the police that the stranger, Mikos Stenopolis, was the subject in an experiment that gave him amazing healing powers and drove him homicidally insane. Mikos’ rampage through the town leads him to a villa—sorry, house—where a nurse from the hospital (Annie Belle) is looking after Katia (Katya Berger), a teenager confined to a hospital bed, and her little brother Willy (Kasimir Berger). Is there any way to stop this monster’s absurdly violent killing spree?

I’ve heard a lot of criticism that this is a cheap knock-off of HALLOWEEN, but I´ve never seen it that way. The basic theme is similar, a mute killer starts bumping off the residents of a small (supposedly) American town, followed by an older man who knows his story. Yes, he menaces a babysitter, and the little boy does refer to him as the boogeyman. The big difference, though it isn’t clearly expressed in the first movie, is that Michael Meyers seems to have an agenda. 

D’Amato doesn’t have time for bullshit like subtext. Everything you need to know about ABSURD is right in front of you. Who is the killer? It’s this guy right here, the one killing everybody. His name is Mikos. Does he wear a mask? Only if you count his beard. Does he have a tragic backstory that is gradually revealed? Not really. What drives him to kill? Medically induced murder mania. Does he have a secret motivation? To stop people from being alive. Why did he choose this town? Proximity.

The most mysterious element is the priest in pursuit of the killer. For some reason, the priest is the only person who Mikos fears. The middle aged Purdom is hardly an imposing figure, especially when he pauses mid chase to catch his breath. It might be because not only is Purdum a priest, but a bio-chemist as well, and the man responsible for scrambling Mikos’ brain.

The bigger question is why the hell make Purdom a priest in the first place? The bio-chemist angle lets him layer on scientific gibberish to explain how he made the monster (something about coagulation), but at no point does he do anything remotely priest-like. He offers no prayers or asks for divine guidance, I don’t think he even makes the sign of the cross. He does experiments on humans, accidentally turns an innocent guy into a vicious murderer, and then tries to fix his mistake by trying to murder the murderer he created. He´s a pretty lousy priest. I’m not Catholic, but I’m fairly sure the Church looks down on that sort of behavior. 

At least Purdom was better at being a priest than he was at being a Dean in PIECES. 

The fast healing gimmick is the only innovative bit of storytelling to be found, but it’s a good one. It can’t even be considered a rip off, because it came out before unkillable horror villains were a thing. The medical experiment angle immediately reminded me of SILENT RAGE, but it beat that movie to the punch by a year, and is way better because it doesn’t star Chuck Norris. It isn’t exploited nearly enough, but it adds an extra layer of menace.

I like that D’Amato makes no attempt whatsoever to obscure the killer. No POV shots, no masks, no ominous shadows, nothing. Who needs gimmicks when you have George Eastman? At 6’9, Eastman (real name, Luigi Montefiori) is imposing enough in full daylight. He has played some of the greatest villains in the Italian genre film scene, from the ridiculously over the top warlords in numerous post-apocalyptic ROAD WARRIOR knock offs, to the suffocating, hyper-masculine psychopath in Mario Bava’s RABID DOGS. His raw, dangerous charisma often outshines the movie’s heroes (see: IRONMASTER, no really, see it). Eastman even manages to give a malevolent spark to Mikos, who is written with about as much depth as the shark from JAWS (the first one, not the revenge plotting one from JAWS IV).

Rich character development is not a strength of this movie. However, there is a throwaway subplot that I kind of love. Mr. Bennett, the father of the creepy kid and his bedridden sister, accidentally hits Mikos with his car just after the killer has dispatched a biker. Bennett thinks he has just killed a regular guy, panics, and drives away. While his kids are being terrorized at home, he is with his wife are at a football party, in a moral quandary about what he has done. The movie keeps cutting away from the carnage to the party, where everyone is laughing and enjoying a bowl of pasta, as we Americans do at our American football parties. All except Mr. Bennett. Finally, he and his wife agree to face the consequences and confess to the police, only find out at the climax that the victim was a super freak maniac, so it doesn’t count. Phew! I’m off the hook! Wait, are my children dead?

ABSURD made it onto the infamous Video Nasty list in the UK, which meant it was not only banned, but people could be prosecuted for selling it. Unlike some of the more arbitrary additions to the list, this one really lives up to its moniker. D’Amato isn’t on the same level as Lucio Fulci as far as innovative splatter goes, but he is no slouch when it comes to the red stuff. There is a great deal of head trauma throughout; a drill through the temple, pick axe through the skull. One poor guy gets shoved head first into a band saw (he was bald, making it extra cringy). The worst is a protracted scene when Mikos forces someone’s head into an oven, made especially hard to watch since it is a very likable character. Likable for a D’Amato film, at least.

Most of the movie is just a framework to hang the gory set pieces together, but the final act at the Bennett house is a solid nail biter. Ever the master of exploitation, D’Amato menaces not only a child (all Italian horror movies must have at least one creepy kid), but also a completely immobilized girl in a hospital bed. Emily, the feisty nurse/babysitter, manages to get rock stupid Willy out of the house, but leaves Katia desperately struggling to undo all the restraints locking her down as Mikos bashes his way into her room. There is no reprieve to the tension even after she is on her unsteady feet. D’Amato keeps ratcheting up the intensity until the very last scene, in a shot both wonderful and, appropriately, absurd.

Joe D'Amato showed the world that you don't need mystery to make an American Slasher. And the world replied, "Yes, we know, we saw Friday the 13th Part 2, and every slasher after." At the very least, he showed the world, or Italy, that you don't need America to make an American Slasher. Go, Football Team!"

C Chaka